I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Randomize
