if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Randomize
