Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
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