How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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