Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
