I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
