It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
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