u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Randomize
