I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
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