I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
where are my eyebrows?
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