going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Randomize
