5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
