i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
I'm always down for nudity.
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