My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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