i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize
