they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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