Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
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