I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
