my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
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