porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
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