walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
