she looked like the bat from fern gully.
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Randomize
