Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
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