Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
