This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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