when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Randomize
