he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
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Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
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Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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