i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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