just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
