So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
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