I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
