In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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