Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
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