who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Randomize
