Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
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