Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Randomize