Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
