All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
