whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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