i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
