Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
