Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
