he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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