I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
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