it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
