If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Randomize
