She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
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