Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Reggie can tackle my bush.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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