If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
only if we run a train.
done.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
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