ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
