I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Randomize
