They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Randomize
