what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
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