Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I hate all girls vehemently.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Randomize
