There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
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