apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
