She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
This is classic penis vs brain.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
