btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
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