I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
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