You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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