I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
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