the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
