Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
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