i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
